Understanding
by Slayergirl
Summary: Some time post Voids. Harry's been avoiding Nikki, and she's determined to understand why. Rating is probably over-generous.


**A/N: if you enjoy, please R&R! Thanks you! :)**

"Harry? Earth to Harry?" came Nikki's amused voice.

He frowned slightly, glancing over at her, and looked moodily back at his computer. "What?"

She gave him a puzzled, concerned look. "Harry? What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"And I should believe this against all the evidence because…?"

"Because I say so." He got up, about to leave the office, but Nikki put herself in the way.

"Harry…"

He gritted his teeth. "Niks…"

"What's wrong? You've been shying away from me the last couple of weeks as though you're terrified of me. Did I turn into some kind of monster, or something?"

He was silent for a moment. "Are you ever afraid of me?"

Her eyebrows nearly hit her hairline. "We had this 'do you think I'm violent' conversation already," she reminded him. "My answer still stands."

"But…" he shook his head. "I remember… the Flannery case, I grabbed hold of you, pretty much threw you against the wall. I was angry, there was a look in your eyes, I…" he sighed. "I keep seeing that look… I can't bear to think I'd hurt you. I can't bear to think that _you'd _think I'd hurt you, even for a second."

"Harry, I never thought you'd hurt me," she said quietly.

"You looked scared."

"I… was taken by surprise," she said honestly. "But Harry, if I thought you were actually going to hurt me, don't you think I'd have kneed you in the groin?"

He looked at the light, teasing smile, not sure if she was really teasing or not, but something flickered through her eyes that nearly made his blood run cold. "Fear," he said softly. "I could see it just now."

She shook her head, not meeting his eyes. "It wasn't fear," she said. "Whatever it was, it wasn't fear."

"What then?" When she didn't answer, he took a step towards her. "Nikki…"

She gave a tight smile. "Ah, you've a lot to learn," she said, attempting for a light-hearted tone of voice, beginning to turn away.

Harry's hand on her arm stopped her, turning her back towards her. Tilting her head up so she had to look into his eyes, he asked her again, "what was it then? If not fear?"

She swallowed. "Look, then. Tell me what you see." She gazed almost unblinkingly into his eyes, no longer trying to hide the emotions that he'd glanced so fleetingly.

Harry felt as though he'd been punched in the gut, seeing the full force of her emotions in her eyes, on her face. "Pain," he said quietly. "Despair and hope. Need. Love." As her lips trembled and tears welled up, he pulled her into his arms. "Desire. Oh, Nikki…" he sighed as a strangled sob escaped her, pressing a kiss to her temple. "I'm sorry, I didn't realise…"

She let him hold her for a moment, then tried to pull away. "I should…"

He held her firm. "Where do you think you're going?"

"I…"

He kissed away a stray tear from her cheek, and another from the corner of her mouth, softly and gently. "Sh, don't cry, it's okay…"

"Harry, I…"

"I'm not letting you get away again," he said with a smile. "Not now I know for sure how you feel. So don't even think of trying to run away."

She blinked up at him. "You…"

"Quiet, now, Leo's on the phone," he murmured. "I'm sorry; I know I was shying away from you. I was…" he sighed. "I was worried that you were more scared than you'd admit, and… if I'm honest, I was scared of hurting you, as well." He pulled her more tightly to him. "You're the only person I ever truly allow to get close to me. You've seen the worst side of me… I never thought you'd actually want to put up with that."

"I've seen the best as well," she reminded him. "And I _know_ you'd never hurt me. Yes, you've got a temper, but haven't we all? I've given as good as I've got. And look at all the times you've got me out of trouble." She looked up at him. "I trust you," she said simply.

He rifled fingers lightly through her hair with a light smile; the look she'd just given him was warm, trusting, caring, and released the knot of worry that had been eating away at him for weeks. "Thank you," he said quietly. She was about to move away, but he didn't let go. At her questioning look, he smiled down at her. "I meant what I said, you know. I'm not letting you go again."

She glanced towards Leo's office. "That could make working awkward."

"I was speaking metaphorically," he said patiently, knowing she was trying to evade the issue of what he'd seen in her eyes. He rested his forehead against hers for a moment. "Care to join me for dinner this evening?"

She smiled, but this time it reached her eyes with a warmth and sparkle that made him catch his breath. "I'd love to."


End file.
